HATH NOT THE FILTH EYES?

ALAS, MORTALS, 'TIS TRUE, WHILST MINE MASS DOTH HAVE GENERALLY IMMEASURABLE BULK, FEW ARE THE EYES THAT BURBLE UP TO THE SURFACE AND SERVE MINE NEEDS.

WHILST THE 'RAT' OR 'SKUNK' DOTH PERISH IN THE SWAMP OR BOG, EVENTUALLY ITS EYES MIGHT, DEPENDING UPON ITS MEANS OF MEETING DOOM, FLOAT TO YON FETID SURFACE TO GRANT ME VISION OF THE STARRY NIGHTS. MORE OFTEN, HOWEVER, THE SOFTNESS OF THE EYE GIVES WAY QUICKLY TO DECAY AS MINE MICROSCOPIC MINIONS DISASSEMBLE ITS PROTEINACEOUS BITS FOR CONSUMPTION, IN MINE GLORY.

SURELY, I HAVE NO RESERVATIONS OF SUCH! FOR MINE MINIONS ARE THE FILTH, AND THE FILTH ART ONE WITH THEM AND ALL, AND I FREELY IMBUE THEM WITH THEIR POWERS TO DEMULSIFY AND DIGEST THEIR QUARRY, EASY THOUGH IT IS TO CONSUME.

THOUGH THE FILTH DOTH RESIDE PRIMARILY IN DARKNESS, THE GREASY, GRIMY DEPTHS AT TIMES PROVIDE A LIGHT OF THEIR OWN. THE OCCASIONAL MAG-LITE™ OR iPOD™ OR BlackBerry™ WHICH DOTH MEANDER DOWN INTO MINE CLUTCHES GIVES SOMETIMES SPECTACULARLY COLORFUL LIGHTINGS WHICH MANY OF MINE LESSER MINIONS ENJOY!

A PITY MORE OF SUCH DOES NOT ENTER THE DEPTHS OF MINE REALM MORE OFTEN!